A Certain Preoccupation
by wonderflonium
Summary: He couldn’t really remember, Barney thought as he sat with his lips on his scotch and his eyes on her face, exactly when he had fallen in love with her.


**Title:** A Certain Preoccupation

**Fandom:** How I Met Your Mother

**Author:** wonderflonium

**Pairing/Characters:** Barney/Robin

**Rating:** PG

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of How I Met Your Mother, but it'd be great if I did.

**Summary:** Barney finds that he just can't get Robin Scherbatsky out of his head.

_This is seriously beginning to affect my work_, thought Barney as he wandered across the bar to sit down at the table he shared with his friends, scotch in hand. He was referring, of course, to his newly discovered infatuation with the lead anchor of Metro News One. He had taken to watching clips of previous shows on the internet during work just so that he could look at her, and it wasn't helping with his workload.

At least it could have been quite easy to avoid this problem in normal life, but unfortunately Barney Stinson was friends with the journalist in question and she was at that very moment smiling at him from across the table.

"What's up, Stinson?"

He smiled. "Please."

She turned away from him and he tried not to notice the softness of her cheek and the dazzling shine of her hair. He half-heartedly scoped the bar for a female target, but pickings were slim and tonight he just felt like sitting with the gang, making fun of Ted and sneaking the occasional glance at Robin as she laughed and smiled at Lily and Marshall's stories.

He couldn't really remember, he thought as he sat with his lips on his scotch and his eyes on her face, exactly when he had fallen in love with her. It might have been the first time her saw her ('yeah, you know she likes it dirty'); the first time he touched her arm ('Haaaave you met Ted?') or the first time he watched her lame (_but actually completely awesome_) 16 year old self dancing about in her mall-themed music video.

He wasn't really sure when he had first started loving her, he just knew that he had realised it on the day of his accident. Getting hit by a bus, breaking every one of his limbs and reuniting with his best friend all on one day was enough of a shock to his system, let alone finding out that he was in blind, ridiculous love with a Canadian news anchor.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when said Canadian leant over and grabbed his tie. He was momentarily stunned (_like that night, when she clutched at your tie, so tight you could choke, dragged you in for a kiss_) but being the awesome Barney Stinson he shook it off quickly and yelped.

"Jesus Scherbatsky! Watch the silk!"

He tried to pull back but she held it tight, looking into his eyes.

"Did you really do that, Barney?"

He blinked. "Do what?"

"Weren't you listening?" she asked her eyes widening. _No,_ he thought. _I was too busy thinking about how much I'm in love with you._

Just as he was wondering just how he could explain that to the group, Ted chipped in. "I was telling her about Wanda."

_Ah, Wanda._ Barney smiled. During his tenure at the hospital, he had met and seduced a hot young nurse called Wanda- she was beautiful and caring, he was in pain, and the minute they removed his casts he slept with her and never called her again.

"Did you really tell her that you were the lone survivor of a freak accident at a family reunion?"

He nodded, smugly. She let go of the tie then; her eyes a mix of disgust and awe.

"I can't believe you actually burst into tears in front of her," said Lily, laughing. "I mean honestly, who cries just to get someone to sleep with them?"

He caught Robin's eye then, and if it wasn't for the icy stare he received back, he would have almost thought that the pink tinge to her cheeks meant she was blushing. He smiled at her, and received a tiny one in return.

He cleared his throat, breaking the eye contact. "I'll have you know that that is the most perfect and excellent breaking up technique, if you can pull it off. She knows I need some time on my own because every time I close my eyes, I see the mangled limbs of Uncle Bob and Aunt Virginia..."

All four of his friends made similar noises of repulsion, and Robin wrinkled her nose (_he tried not to think about how damn cute that was)_.

Ted shook his head. "I'd say that is a new low for you, Barney, but to be honest I'm sure you've done worse- and no, I don't want to hear about it." He added, as Barney opened his mouth excitedly.

He pouted and shrugged his shoulders, still thinking happily about how awesome that whole lie had been, and whether he could get away with using it again.

It was Robin who eventually broke the awed silence, the kind that usually followed one of Barney's slightly sociopathic statements. "Well, you know, it was nice hearing about how Barney tricked another woman into sleeping with him by making up a perverted lie then broke up with her, but I really have to go."

Lily grinned, the way her face always lit up when she thought there was gossip to be had. "Ooh, is it a hot date?"

Robin blushed again. _Damn,_ Barney thought. _She has to stop doing that. I can't concentrate._

"Yeah."

Lily's squeal of excitement rang through the bar. "Details!"

Robin smiled. "When I've actually been on the date, I'll let you know." And with that she was walking out of the bar.

Barney's eyes followed her until she had left, and wondered just what he was going to do about his little problem. Not only was his obsession with her beginning to affect his work, but it was also seriously damaging his luck with the ladies. He'd had to really work at Wanda, just because he could barely muster the enthusiasm to seduce her. So many women were being left bereft of the Barnacle, and that just wasn't acceptable.

He made up his mind there and then; he was going to go for her. Woo her properly- not just meaningless, comforting (_and mind-blowing_) sex like last time. He figured that, once he did that, he'd be rid of this distinctly not legendary feeling that was nawing at his insides day and night.

I mean yeah, she thought he was a pervert. And yeah, she did have a hot date that wasn't him.

But of course he could do it. He was the awesome Barney Stinson after all.


End file.
